Q & A on Walking-Out of The Happening

You should read the general post about walking out of The Happening before reading the Q & A here.

Q: Why walk out of The Happening?

A: It's an awful movie that uses plants to induce people to commit suicide. The studios have spent millions of dollars hoping you will spend a few of yours to see it. Don't. By walking out you're sending a signal that it's not acceptable for the studios to assume you're an idiot who is, once again, just going to sit back and take it.

Or you could do it just to be part of a bigger experiment just to see what happens.


Q: What do you hope to gain by doing this?

A: Ultimately, it would be great to hear the studio apologize for making such a lame film. We know that's not going to happen, so the next best thing is to have a whole lot of Fox people, in a whole lot of fancy clothes, over a whole love of expensive food, mutter about the situation they're involved in because you and I refused to take any more of the crap they dish out.


Q: Do you gain personally by doing this?

A: No. I'm setting up this idea and getting the ball rolling simply because I walked out of a movie for the first time in my life.


Q: Do you actually work for Fox (or whomever) in an effort to promote the movie?

A: No. If I worked for them I would have seen if I could get the plants there to get a whole lot of people to commit suicide. Then maybe this whole thing wouldn't have happened.


Q: How should I "walk-out" on The Happening?

A: When you go to the theater say, "I'd like to buy a ticket for The Happening, but I've heard it's not very good. What's your 'money-back' or 'refund' policy?" Listen closely to what they say and do exactly as they ask so you can get a refund (you may want to set an alarm on your cell phone if their response is something like, "You can get a refund in the first 20 minutes"). It doesn't matter that you're hinting that you might walk out -- it's your money, you certainly have a right to know how it is spent and what the ramifications of spending it are.

Don't play the game close. Buy your ticket, get in, get out, get a refund/switch/whatever.


Q: What happens if my theater doesn't have a refund policy?

Some smaller theaters simply may not refund tickets. If this movement gains momentum, it's also possible that refunds for The Happening specifically won't be honored. If they tell you that say, "I refuse to buy a ticket without a refund policy."

If that's the case, when you get home, send a copy of this letter by US post to the "General Manager" of the cinema that refused the refund.

[_Use correct date_]

Dear General Manager,

I went to your cinemas this evening to attend a screening of The Happening and was informed that a refund for the film wasn't possible. I left your theater without buying tickets.

I'm disappointed that you wouldn't offer a refund, but a film with that kind of reputation isn't something I'm willing to just gamble my money to see. To be very clear, my attitude toward your cinema in the future will be to always refuse to see any movie that you're not willing to provide a refund for.

Sincerely,

[_Sign and include your address_]


Q: I've already seen The Happening and still have the ticket stubs. What should I do?

A: If, and only if, you feel that the movie was sub-par, send the following letter via US Post.

[_Use correct date_]

Dear Mr. Murdoch,

Enclosed you will find ticket stubs from my recent viewing of The Happening. It is, without question, one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. Considering both your studio's reputation, as well as the raw amount of money you spent on the film, I'm amazed the resulting film was as poor as it is.

Please either provide me with a full refund, or credits for a future movie, at your earliest convenience.

Thank you,

[_Sign and include a business-sized self-addressed and stamped envelope_]

Address the letter to:

Rupert Murdoch
CEO
News Corporation
1211 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10036


Q: I've already seen The Happening, but don't have the ticket stubs. What should I do?

A: If, and only if, you have seen the movie and you feel it was sub-par, send the following letter via US Post.

Dear Mr. Murdoch,

On [_use the proper date_], I went to [_use proper theater_] to see The Happening. For the record, it is without question, one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. Considering both your studio's reputation, as well as the raw amount of money you spent on the film, I'm amazed the resulting film was as poor as it is.

I threw the ticket stubs away, as I always do, and then a friend of mine suggested that I should approach you for a refund anyway. If possible, please either provide me with a full refund in the amount of [_state dollar amount_], or a credit for [_number of_] future tickets.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if you need more information,

[_Sign and include a business-sized self-addressed and stamped envelope_]

Address the letter to:

Rupert Murdoch
CEO
News Corporation
1211 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10036


Q: Will Rupert Murdoch actually read and answer my letters?

A: No way. You don't even qualify as a bug on his shoe. It'll be opened by underlings and batted around a couple of times. You'll receive an answer from someone of some type. Anything from the office of the CEO gets attention within a corporation. (And don't you just love the name of the company? That's the real name.)


Q: Why do you emphasize sending the letters by US post, rather than email or FAX?

A: When you're dealing with customer service operations (or any member of the government) an old-fashioned letter gets the most attention. Email and FAXes are both too easy to ignore.


Q: Is there a way for my letter to get even more attention?

A: Yes. For extra-special treatment you should send it by Certified Mail (this is the way I send all my "serious" letters). Certified Mail won't make your letter any more likely to get to your target, but it is trackable, and recipients always make it a point to handle Certified Mail better in all ways. The service costs three bucks or so and is worth it.

You don't need to ask for a "Return Receipt," unless you want a nice little keepsake from this escapade.


Q: Should I change the wording of your letters?

A: You certainly can change the wording if you so desire. However, the movie industry does absolutely nothing to treat you like an individual so I can't think of a good reason why you should return the favor.


Q: Aren't you being too harsh about this?

A: No. The theater, film studio and director took my money and my time, expecting me to just put up with it. The minutes I spent watching The Happening are minutes I will never again get back in my life.


Q: Aren't you fighting a losing battle? Essentially aren't you wasting even more time by doing this?

A: Honestly, by doing this, I feel like I'm making those wasted minutes all worthwhile. I'm enjoying this part of it.


Q: If I switch my ticket for another movie, will that be credited as a "return" within the system?

A: I have no idea. I seriously doubt they have a way to deal with massive walk-outs on a film. But I can tell you, with certainty, that if this starts happening, en masse, that lots and lots of people within the film industry are going to know.

I'd love to see a future when people hear the words "Shyamalan," "Fox," or "Murdoch" and think "walk-out;" in exactly the same way that when many people hear "Exxon," they think "Valdez oil spill." I consider The Happening to be a film crime. I'd like to see it linger over the responsible people/organizations as a taint that lasts for a very long time.


Q: What is the record for the number of walk-outs on a movie anyway?

A: I have no idea. I'd guess they don't even have records for that. Yet.


Q: How about if I just leave the theater and walk into another film in my multi-plex without telling the ticket people?

A: Please don't. That'll almost certainly do nothing more than show another ticket sale for The Happening. We're trying to collectively throw a wrench in the cogs here, not give the rolling stupidity tank more metal.


Q: Isn't there a chance that you'll actually bring more notoriety to the film and maybe end up increasing sales?

A: Sure. Apple wanted to have the "paperless office place" and created desktop publishing. Al Gore preaches about how important it is to be green, and yet he has four children. The underlying deal here is to stir things up and start a conversation.


Q: Are you some kind of religious right-wing nut?

A: No. Contrary to what you might infer from my answer above, politics have nothing to do with this. This has everything to do with a bad movie being pushed on the public.


Q: Aren't you ignoring the underlying green teachings of the film?

A: Maybe. It's a little hard to see around all the suicides and bad acting.


Q: M. Night Shyamalan has said that what he's trying to make here is a B movie. Are you an idiot?

A: Shyamalan can make whatever kind of movie he wants. Unfortunately whatever he makes he's then going to try and push down my throat. I don't have to accept it. As a B-movie, this film is an abortion. If you want to see a good B-movie, watch Dude, Where's my Car?, The Savages, Godzilla Final Wars or Detour.


Q: I think you're just thin skinned and haven't seen enough movies of this type. Am I right?

A: When I say I've seen 2500 films, that's probably an understatement. I even have gone so far in my life as to take film classes from Stan Brakhage -- which means I've seen a ton of movies of all types, including experimental stuff. Elephants being electrocuted, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, 50's Russian industrial films, Comin' at Ya!. I've seen 'em all without walking out. I never had to until now.

I don't say all of it to brag, I just want to show how truly low the bar is.


Q: Are you saying you're in favor of censorship?

A: No.

First, there's a fine point that, here -- only the government can "censor," individuals can't. Don't take my word for it, ask a lawyer.

Ignoring that, and assuming your question has a better intent, it's quite the opposite...I'm glad I live in a country where someone like Shyamalan can make a piece of trash like he just did.

I'm even happier that I have this ability to spout off about it and entice people into an organized form of protest.


Q: M. Night Shmyamalan was born in India. Are you just a prejudiced bastard?

A: If the question is, "am I prejudiced against Shmyamalan?" the answer is undoubtedly, "yes." I have a dislike, disdain and distrust for anyone who tries to take my money with an inferior product. It doesn't matter what their ethnic, religious or political heritage is.

It's not for me to judge whether or not I'm a bastard, but I'll bet you have an opinion on that.


Q: Is it true that you call M. Night Shyamalan, "Shyama-lama-ding-dong" when you talk to your friends?

A: I do now. You got me there. Nice one.